WORD 1

 WORD 1• THE BOOK OF WORDS

~ Abai Kunanbaev ~

• Whether for good or ill, I have lived my life, traveling a long road

fraught with struggles and quarrels, disputes and arguments,

suffering and anxiety, and reached these advanced years to find

myself at the end of my tether, tired of everything. I have realized the

vanity and futility of my labors and the meanness of my existence.

What shall I occupy myself with now and how shall I live out the rest

of my days? I am puzzled that I can find no answer to this question.

• Rule the people? No, the people are ungovernable. Let this burden

be shouldered by someone who is willing to contract an incurable

malady, or else by an ardent youth with a burning heart. But may

Allah spare me this load which is beyond my powers!

• Shall I multiply the herds? No, I cannot do that. Let the young folk

raise livestock if they need them. But I shall not darken the evening

of my days by tending livestock to give joy to rogues, thieves and

spongers.

• Occupy myself with learning? But how shall I engage in scholarship

when I have no one to exchange an intelligent word with? And then

to whom shall I pass on the knowledge I will have amassed? Whom

shall I ask what I do not know myself? What's the good of sitting on

a desolate steppe with an arshin[1] in hand trying to sell cloth? Too

much knowledge becomes gall and wormwood that hastens old age

if you have no one by your side to share your joys and sorrows.

• Choose the path of the Sufi and dedicate myself to the service of

religion? No, I'm afraid that won't do either. This vocation calls for

serenity and complete peace of mind. But I have not known peace

either in my soul or in my life—and what sort of piety can there be

amongst these people, in this land!

• Educate children, maybe? No, this, too, is beyond my powers. I could

instruct children, true, but I don't know what I should teach them

and how.

• For what occupation, for what purpose and for what kind of

community am I to educate them? How can I instruct them and

direct their paths if I don't see where my pupils could usefully apply

their learning? And so here, too, I have been unable to put myself to

any good use.

• Well, I have decided at length: henceforth, pen and paper shall be

my only solace, and I shall set down my thoughts. Should anyone

find something useful here, let him copy it down or memorise it.

And if no one has any need of my words, they will remain with me

anyway. And now I have no other concern than that.

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